Single & ready to mingle?

Hello Dear Friend,

Wow. That is all I can say now about the dating world. There are so many websites and so many apps now that people are using to find dates… I feel utterly and completely lost. When my ex-husband and I went out on our first date many moons ago we did not have the advanced technology of a short bio and what likes we had to go based off of before we met on our first date.. We were simply two people who knew nothing about each other and found out of the majority of our likes and dislikes through actual conversation. Today it seems that most people know 98% about me before we even sit down and talk face to face. What if he doesn’t like my likes? Or is utterly appalled by my dislikes? The idea that technology takes the guess out of the get to know.. I always thought that the first date was exciting. Its the thrill of the get know.. and now, most people seem the know the majority of you by reading a few lines. It’s overwhelming.

So let me tell you about my first date in over 13 years..

My date and I met on Instagram.. Yes I know Instagram is not a dating site. But after a few likes were given and a few conversations had we started chatting through snapchat. I was not ready to give a complete stranger my number.  After chatting for two weeks, trying to learn about one another and see where it may go I agreed to have coffee with him. Side note: I always think getting coffee is a great first date idea.. you can sit and enjoy the aromas of the local coffee shop while listening to jazzy music being played, its a very mellowing environment for what can be an extremely stressful situation. I find that I stress easy when it comes to the idea of the first date.. I tend to talk more than what I should, so for me personally, coffee shops=mellow mood. Anyways back to my date. When I had asked him when and where he wanted to meet he asked me to meet him at his work. I thought that was odd and asked why he work. Well he worked across from a coffee shop and he thought we could just walk over there.. still a little odd but who was i to say no to a small walk in winter to drink a cup of hot Joe? When I showed up to his work I was surprised to find out that he did not own a car. That was the reason why he wanted me to meet him. I get it. Times are hard. Who am I to judge? We walked over to the coffee shop I order my double espresso latte and found a table for us to sit at. I would say for a good five minutes it was complete silence as we took turns sipping from our cups. I finally struck up the courage to ask… anything you want to know about me that maybe you feel you need to know? “no”, was his response.. You don’t seem like you are much of a talker? “I’m not”, he adds.. I spun my head trying to figure out if this was the same person that I had been talking to for the last two weeks.. When I asked him about it he said, “texting is easy to talk to someone.. its just a few lines, when you meet in person you actually have to say more”.  I sat there for a few moments before I decided to ask if he had just planned on sitting across the table from me just enjoying my coffee while he sat and starred at me.. his reply, “yes”. I can happily say that was the first and the last time that we ever met face to face.

But it makes me wonder. How do people find their significant other? My ex and I went to the same high school. We had mutual friends, went to mutual events before we were introduced to one another later. But now, most of the time people don’t have those same encounters.. They are looking towards Tinder, or Plenty of Fish, or some other app that is supposed to find us our true loves… but is it possible? Is it possible that swiping one way over the other is going to help us determine who we want to spend the rest of our lives with? I personally believe that those aren’t things that I could try to use to find the “love of my life”. Maybe its the hopeless romantic in me.. but I always thought I would meet the love of my life by a chance of luck.. serendipity I would say. Two people, in the same place at the exact same time who were meant to be there.. maybe we’ve seen each other a million times before and never noticed one another. Maybe we cross paths every single day…. but there will be one moment, one exact moment in time that we will bump into each other and everything that was meant to be from that moment on will start to bloom..

So yes…. I am single… But no… by far.. not ready to mingle.. Maybe with some more time and some more self love… I will be ready. But as for now, I am just enjoying my time and being able to find what makes me happy in this world again.

Until Next Time,

Your Dear Friend.



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