It’s been awhile dear friend… I’ve been going through a lot lately. Many emotions; many challenges. Some days are okay and some days I don’t get out of bed… I feel in love friend…. I feel in love with someone who shattered my soul and my spirit. He was everything I ever wanted in love and in life and in a split second, he was gone. Left as though the promises he made was just lies…. things I wanted to hear… or even maybe things I needed to hear. And now begins the process of self healing… and self love.
Maybe he was in a place where he didn’t love himself, so he couldn’t love me the way I needed. The sad truth is ill never know.. I’ll continue on in life with no answers and a million questions.
The truth is, when your married to someone and lose sight of yourself over the years.. each day falling further and further away from you, the first real love you encounter after that can change your whole world. I felt more love for that person in six months than I had felt for anyone almost all my life… the first heartache is always the hardest.. a piece of him will always be with me as I move on in life. At first I wanted the memories of him to be taken away. I couldn’t think of him without tears welling up in my eyes. I realized I don’t want the memories gone, no matter how much it hurts to relive, because for that brief moment in life… I was happy… truly, truly happy.
I will write soon dear friend….
All my love.